This is the TV tower next to one of my favorite places in Berlin. It's called Marienkirche and it's lovely.
This is a bike with a knit cozy on it. Hipsters...psh.
Thursday, August 29, 2013
photos
This is a bike with a knit cozy on it. Hipsters...psh.
Sunday, August 25, 2013
Bikes
Sometimes I go on bike rides here. I went on one yesterday with a couple friends and one today. Yesterday we rode in a line and laughed and all dinged our bells and honked the old-timey horns on the bikes and went through tunnels. It looked like a movie and felt like a dream. Today was the same. We just rode through the city and stopped at a community garden where they grow vegetables.
There were trees and parks and cool wind on our flushed faces and we rode fast and felt strong.
As we rode, I remembered and expressed how much I love Berlin. One can ride and laugh and talk and stop and get from one point to another and the cars will stop and the time will fly and the temperature will always even out with the wind and the sun and the sweat. There is never a moment when there is nothing left to discover. Though there is nothing new under the sun, we will never know it all or see it all, especially in this always changing city.
I think I should walk and ride more often. When there isn't glass and metal between the world and me, I gain a new perspective and see the world differently and more fully. And am in it. There is no hiding when you are on a bike. It's too late. You're already there. You're faced with the reality of the city and then you get to interact with it and know yourself and others and God in a different way. It's less isolating.
Plus, bikes are fun cause you get to sit down whilst you exercise.
There were trees and parks and cool wind on our flushed faces and we rode fast and felt strong.
As we rode, I remembered and expressed how much I love Berlin. One can ride and laugh and talk and stop and get from one point to another and the cars will stop and the time will fly and the temperature will always even out with the wind and the sun and the sweat. There is never a moment when there is nothing left to discover. Though there is nothing new under the sun, we will never know it all or see it all, especially in this always changing city.
I think I should walk and ride more often. When there isn't glass and metal between the world and me, I gain a new perspective and see the world differently and more fully. And am in it. There is no hiding when you are on a bike. It's too late. You're already there. You're faced with the reality of the city and then you get to interact with it and know yourself and others and God in a different way. It's less isolating.
Plus, bikes are fun cause you get to sit down whilst you exercise.
Fussball
My friend Marcus just told me why he doesn't like Italians. He cited the 2006 Soccer World cup. Seven years and he is still mad about it. He said at the game, they shouted chants that, translated, mean something to the effect of: "we won't eat pizza anymore."
I love my friends.
Die (dee) Welt-meister-schaft (velt-my-ster-shaft)=the world cup
I remember a time when we were all discussing a friend of mine not showing up to a meeting because of a soccer game. It was a really important game. Dortmund was playing Bayern and he wasn't going to miss it. As a group of girls sat around discussing it with the leader of our group, who happens to be American, he made the mistake of saying something about the next game interfering with our Wednesday meeting. He said, "he better not go watch when Dortmund plays Madrid on Wednesday!" The girls, none of which are soccer fans, promptly and with one voice almost shouted that he will NOT be missing the next meeting, because the match is on Tuesday, not Wednesday. Even the girls know the schedule.
**none of these girls own TV's or have boyfriends that are soccer fans. They just know.
I love my friends.
Die (dee) Welt-meister-schaft (velt-my-ster-shaft)=the world cup
I remember a time when we were all discussing a friend of mine not showing up to a meeting because of a soccer game. It was a really important game. Dortmund was playing Bayern and he wasn't going to miss it. As a group of girls sat around discussing it with the leader of our group, who happens to be American, he made the mistake of saying something about the next game interfering with our Wednesday meeting. He said, "he better not go watch when Dortmund plays Madrid on Wednesday!" The girls, none of which are soccer fans, promptly and with one voice almost shouted that he will NOT be missing the next meeting, because the match is on Tuesday, not Wednesday. Even the girls know the schedule.
**none of these girls own TV's or have boyfriends that are soccer fans. They just know.
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Things I Love (part 2wei)
Zwei. The number 2. I love just mashing those consonants together. Makes one feel so alive. Like you can do anything.
I love that when the weather is warm and sunny, everyone is outside. It's like they don't have jobs. They do of course. But everyone is sitting at tables outside of every cafe, bar, and restaurant soaking up the Vitamin D and enjoying it while it lasts.
I love that we sit at tables for hours here. We have to ask for the check because they won't bring it until you do. You can sit at your table for hours after you are done with your purchase and talk. No one is trying to turn the table. No one is trying to kick you out or take your space. You can just enjoy conversation. For as long as you'd like.
I love that we walk everywhere here. I love that we think that way. My friend Gracie sometimes walks from her house to mine. It takes her about an hour but the train takes forty minutes so it doesn't seem that bad. I took a walk today with my friend Lukas and it was so nice. We discovered different parts of our neighborhood and enjoyed the sunshine and parks. I love that we aren't in such a hurry all the time. It's great.
I love that you can have so many different kinds of adventures here. I went to a music festival on Friday night where I heard "surf/soul/rock" and "electric swing." That surf/soul/rock was one band. That is how they described their genre of music. There were tons of people and interesting things to see. I just kept looking around thinking "I can't believe I live here."
The next day I went to the Lake. It was like a different world. 45 min on the train and you're in an entirely different atmosphere. It was so strange to see houses. I never see houses anymore. With yards and porches and fences! And to go to a lake that smells and feels like you're in the mountains. It was amazing. It looked and felt like Hume lake. And it had been so long since I had been swimming that it felt like a proper beach day. I was so excited I couldn't contain it. I just swam and swam to the center of the lake and only went back because I thought I should be social. The water was perfect and the clouds sometimes floated over the sun and it was quiet and sweet and beautiful. I couldn't believe I was still in Berlin. What a crazy world. What a diverse city.
I just love it here sometimes. Occasionally, it's just hard not to.
I love that when the weather is warm and sunny, everyone is outside. It's like they don't have jobs. They do of course. But everyone is sitting at tables outside of every cafe, bar, and restaurant soaking up the Vitamin D and enjoying it while it lasts.
I love that we sit at tables for hours here. We have to ask for the check because they won't bring it until you do. You can sit at your table for hours after you are done with your purchase and talk. No one is trying to turn the table. No one is trying to kick you out or take your space. You can just enjoy conversation. For as long as you'd like.
I love that we walk everywhere here. I love that we think that way. My friend Gracie sometimes walks from her house to mine. It takes her about an hour but the train takes forty minutes so it doesn't seem that bad. I took a walk today with my friend Lukas and it was so nice. We discovered different parts of our neighborhood and enjoyed the sunshine and parks. I love that we aren't in such a hurry all the time. It's great.
I love that you can have so many different kinds of adventures here. I went to a music festival on Friday night where I heard "surf/soul/rock" and "electric swing." That surf/soul/rock was one band. That is how they described their genre of music. There were tons of people and interesting things to see. I just kept looking around thinking "I can't believe I live here."
The next day I went to the Lake. It was like a different world. 45 min on the train and you're in an entirely different atmosphere. It was so strange to see houses. I never see houses anymore. With yards and porches and fences! And to go to a lake that smells and feels like you're in the mountains. It was amazing. It looked and felt like Hume lake. And it had been so long since I had been swimming that it felt like a proper beach day. I was so excited I couldn't contain it. I just swam and swam to the center of the lake and only went back because I thought I should be social. The water was perfect and the clouds sometimes floated over the sun and it was quiet and sweet and beautiful. I couldn't believe I was still in Berlin. What a crazy world. What a diverse city.
I just love it here sometimes. Occasionally, it's just hard not to.
Mornings
Mornings have changed a lot here. They are busy but also so beautiful. The sun is in a completely different part of the sky these days and the way it wakes me up (at 3:30 everyday) is still a little sweet. Mostly because the light and warmth make everyone just a little more joyful.
I love sitting on my balcony in the mornings eating breakfast, praying, and listening to music (or sometimes Rom 12 which I'm trying to memorize. ...Trying.) It is hard to imagine that my street ever looked different. It's hard to remember bare trees or empty sidewalks or snowy roofs. But it was just a couple months ago. Now I love being out and seeing my green tree and watching people talk and laugh (and sometimes fight) on my street. What a difference a season makes on this city.
ps-my phone camera broke---my pictures are running thin (so sad) and I hate taking my big camera with me so I don't very often. This is a photobooth pic. Thanks photobooth. Sorry I haven't used you in four years...but you did a great(ish) job with this one.
ps-my phone camera broke---my pictures are running thin (so sad) and I hate taking my big camera with me so I don't very often. This is a photobooth pic. Thanks photobooth. Sorry I haven't used you in four years...but you did a great(ish) job with this one.
I Can't
I have this theme that I say all the time. "I can't do this." Here in Berlin, it has become "I can't do this alone" but it's just a variation of that lie. Or rather, perhaps it's a half truth. I really can't. I'm obviously painfully aware of this...but the next thing, which I always miss, is asking for help.
I love when people do things for me. The other day I had some questions about my job, and instead of having to go to three or four different places to find out the answer, my coworker said "I'll find those out for you!" What a strange feeling I get. It's not just relief--it's more extreme than that. More emotional. But it's something. Something that says that I"m not alone and that I don't have to do everything.
The tasks in front of me, whether many or few, often overwhelm me. I don't know where to start and I don't know how to will myself to do them. There is very little motivation in them. People often ask me, "Doesn't it feel so good when you check something off your list?" or "Don't you like when you learn something and you can do it from now on without help?". The answer is no. Not really.
I do this defeatist thing with other aspects of my life as well. I did it with my taxes this year. I just felt like if I had to do my taxes one more time, I might fall over and die. (I really am this dramatic person that feels so overwhelmed with tasks. But...my relational strength is off the charts soooo...) Well, my mom said "I'll do them!" and I cried. Like a baby.
This isn't new for me. This didn't just start in Berlin. I always said this. I explained yesterday to two very good friends my marathon experience. Basically the whole time, running through my head was either Beyonce or "I can't do this."
And I did.
And I didn't feel accomplished.
I just felt hungry.
But the thing about that experience is, now, when I run 5 miles, and I'm starting to fade, I remember that I ran a marathon, and then I push. This isn't the biggest or best example of learning something despite my defeatist mentality though.
I do it with Berlin itself. I can't do it alone. I can't be here alone. I can't work alone. I can't stay here alone. And as with my colleague Judy, or my mom, I don't have to. No one is asking me to. I sense a pattern whenever I say "I can't do this alone" that God is sitting in front of me raising His eyebrows and waiting for me to realize what a ridiculous thing that is to say. Of course I can't do it alone. Of course I don't have to.
I have a choice now. A really scary one. I can either sit and continue this pattern of feeling sorry for myself and ignoring the fact that, not only do I have friends and family and colleagues that are willing (and sometimes want) to help me out, but I also have the Creator of the universe who is reaching His hand out saying "You are not alone. You have the gifts I've given you. You have my perfect strength that I give you enough of everyday. You have me." I can sit ignoring these lovely truths...
...or I can let that sink in (which it's already started to do--sneakily). I can start to understand the extent of God's strength and ability in me. I can bask in His comfort and delight in His companionship. I can go forward in the truth that I'm not alone. BUT the fear of this is, now, being alone isn't an excuse anymore. Not having the ability or strength to do something isn't my out. And now I have to listen to the Lord, hear Him, and know that I must be obedient.
And I CAN be obedient.
And I'm afraid He may ask a very lot of me.
I love when people do things for me. The other day I had some questions about my job, and instead of having to go to three or four different places to find out the answer, my coworker said "I'll find those out for you!" What a strange feeling I get. It's not just relief--it's more extreme than that. More emotional. But it's something. Something that says that I"m not alone and that I don't have to do everything.
The tasks in front of me, whether many or few, often overwhelm me. I don't know where to start and I don't know how to will myself to do them. There is very little motivation in them. People often ask me, "Doesn't it feel so good when you check something off your list?" or "Don't you like when you learn something and you can do it from now on without help?". The answer is no. Not really.
I do this defeatist thing with other aspects of my life as well. I did it with my taxes this year. I just felt like if I had to do my taxes one more time, I might fall over and die. (I really am this dramatic person that feels so overwhelmed with tasks. But...my relational strength is off the charts soooo...) Well, my mom said "I'll do them!" and I cried. Like a baby.
This isn't new for me. This didn't just start in Berlin. I always said this. I explained yesterday to two very good friends my marathon experience. Basically the whole time, running through my head was either Beyonce or "I can't do this."
And I did.
And I didn't feel accomplished.
I just felt hungry.
But the thing about that experience is, now, when I run 5 miles, and I'm starting to fade, I remember that I ran a marathon, and then I push. This isn't the biggest or best example of learning something despite my defeatist mentality though.
I do it with Berlin itself. I can't do it alone. I can't be here alone. I can't work alone. I can't stay here alone. And as with my colleague Judy, or my mom, I don't have to. No one is asking me to. I sense a pattern whenever I say "I can't do this alone" that God is sitting in front of me raising His eyebrows and waiting for me to realize what a ridiculous thing that is to say. Of course I can't do it alone. Of course I don't have to.
I have a choice now. A really scary one. I can either sit and continue this pattern of feeling sorry for myself and ignoring the fact that, not only do I have friends and family and colleagues that are willing (and sometimes want) to help me out, but I also have the Creator of the universe who is reaching His hand out saying "You are not alone. You have the gifts I've given you. You have my perfect strength that I give you enough of everyday. You have me." I can sit ignoring these lovely truths...
...or I can let that sink in (which it's already started to do--sneakily). I can start to understand the extent of God's strength and ability in me. I can bask in His comfort and delight in His companionship. I can go forward in the truth that I'm not alone. BUT the fear of this is, now, being alone isn't an excuse anymore. Not having the ability or strength to do something isn't my out. And now I have to listen to the Lord, hear Him, and know that I must be obedient.
And I CAN be obedient.
And I'm afraid He may ask a very lot of me.
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Sister
This is Jill. She is my sister. And she came to Berlin for six days. What a glorious six days they were! It was incredible to have her meet people and see my city. I just love her so much. It was weirdly normal to see her in my apartment or with my friends. I think they also felt a strange familiarity with her. It may be connected to the fact that we look exactly alike. Hard to tell.
We met my friends from language school several times for burgers, games, coffee, etc. It was so fun and it gave me an excuse to speak English the whole night (which I sometimes secretly love).
We spent some time with some people from my cafe team and brunched. _________________________________________
We went to a flea markets, talked, drank coffee, cooked a little, danced a lot, laughed even more than all of that, and had such a wonderful time. We hung out with people all the time, baked, and by the end I was so tired and my feet were so sore and I was so glad because we had a great time.
It was a blessing and a joy to spend that time with her. Many thanks to Uncle John for doing so much research for flights! You can't even imagine the blessings you've given me and I'm so thankful for your love and help.
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